Sunday 3 June 2012

A funny thing happened on the way to Chemo...Brentuximab cycle 6

Ok I lied, it wasn't actually funny..but here's the story anyway!

I was up on chemo day relatively early for me, preparing fruit and veg for some delicious healthy juices, oh yeah, and the phone rang. It was my son (who lives around the corner with my bro) he was fully ranting about the apparent 'loss' of his exam timetable which was obviously my fault as I had recently tidied his room. He thought that he probably had an exam this morning but wasn't sure and didn't know what time. So like the uber mother I am I calmy told him not to worry I would be round straight away. I duly abandoned the juicing activity and jumped in the car to go and help. On arrival to his room I immediately found the 'lost' timetable on his desk, and yes indeed his exam was in 30 minutes. One very stressful car journey later (Him-Oh that's it - I have failed the year etc etc your fault because and I quote "you raised this!") I delivered him to college bang on time. So he made his final exam and I tried to retrieve the inner calm and headed to the hospital. I had decided to go alone to chemo because I find it quite tiring to go with someone else, having to try and talk to someone all day, be semi entertaining..... and compensate for their impatience, I mean I am soooo used to just hanging around ..waiting, it doesn't stress me out a bit, but for those who aren't a patient or indeed patient...it's like - when will they see you? how long will the Dr be etc. For me, well you know, I have no where else to be so my attitude is it will happen when it happens...basically I prefer going solo.

Brentuximab number 6 was again plain sailing......I chatted the consultant up to do a PET not just CT after this round...(CT shows mass PET shows actual cancer activity) He was concerned re doing a PET straight away cos of high radiation exposure.....hmmmmm, so I asked if he meant long or short term effects, he said long term, I then clarified so as in years? Yes he replied. I reminded him I don't have years though, soooooo...........He then replied..............are y'all ready for this?? "Well you might have years, if the brentuximab gets you into remission and we give you a transplant......." Whoah there! WTF! Me? Actual years? This is big shit man! Of course the potential years deal involves a) complete remission and b) deciding on and surviving a transplant, but anyway it's all a hell of a lot more hopeful than it was last July!!! So you can pretty much stop feeling sorry for me as I appear to be destined to be immortal actually!

Brentuximab side effects FYI:
Fatigue (although someone did say to me that they were grateful for my fatigue as God help them if I actually had 100% energy) but anyhooo I feel fatigued!
Anxiety - re perceived, imminent, possible death eeewwwwwwww!! (this is a new thing)
Fudge brain syndrome, AKA chemobrain......that's what I am blaming it on anyway. Sudden inability to express myself coherently or tendency to have the first part of a conversation in my head then not understand why no one knows what I am on about.
But:
Blood counts normal
Hair intact
No nausea
Yes it really seems a miracle drug:)

I have felt great this round. Bigging myself up here, I did go into it very positively and I have been juicing a lot and bringing back the chanting.....who knows?

This week I went with my dad to choose the most cute lab puppy ever! I am sooo excited for a little play mate for TIlly......although she did get freaked right out tonite by a black lab pup who wanted to be her mate at the exmouth festival!! I think Dad's pup's name is Emma, i will make it so. Gutted though that only a few days afer he gets pup we are jetting off to Spain! Yess!! Massive hug to my liitle bruv who made sure  that this holiday happened, he is a star!

Om Shanti x

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