Am in actual limbo, it sucks a bit. Kind of want Thursday to just hurry up so I have battle plan from consultant but also don't want to know what's ahead cos I am proper scared. One of the chemos they are considering is in another 'centre' (Bristol? London? who knows) one is experimental or they may PET scan me first and then? Considering just over 2 months ago I was told if I didn't have treatment then in 6 months there were odds of 50% I would not be here, I am beginning to feel a slight sense of urgency and the waiting around is hard.
Anyway the good news is that in order to make me feel better my mum is going to be my surrogate mother for a doggy - yay! She will get a dog and I will 'look after' it quite alot.....how cool is that?? Have been looking at some dogs online tonight at rescue centres, currently favouring Pip and Bill! Am also going to see if Jim'll fix it for me to go ride with the red arrows :) There is a charity called willow that gives special days out for special people like me.....so altho the red arrows may not say yes, there is a company that will take you up in a jet plane and do tricks n that which would be ace fun.
My dear heart changed my PICC dressing tonight and advised me that I would probably have a hickman line if I were to have longer term treatment, poos and wees I don't want to be doing this for months and months. AND my hair is still falling out which is so out of order! If the bloomin treatment hasn't worked then at least my hair should be preserved! Arse Biscuits!!
Hmmm random blog but that kind of reflects my mental state right now.....
If there's anyone out there, please pray, chant, cross digits, think positive, whatever you can think of! And if that doesn't work please dress in rainbow colours for my funeral :)
Love and Light
x
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