Decisions, decisions

This was me a year ago, just back from a run, super fit, happy , full of it! - and totally posing in silly manner that is only really appropriate for teenagers! Anyhooooo I am making it my mission to get as fit and strong mentally, physically,spiritually as I posssibly can before I you know er leave  this mortal plane, expire whatever! So check out my plan- am working in chunks of 3 months then review as I really dont see that things could change (deteriorate) that quickly:

• Present self to cancer club tomorrow and request that my PICC is removed which will then allow me to play the piano again,haha, no seriously I can play badminton, do pump class, go paddle boarding, soak in a bath, go to a waterpark and ride on the slides n that. And also will feel a bit less of a patient - bit rubbish that my hair is still thin and chemoey but hey at least I have a bit left...
• Book myself on a week's retreat at a place in spain called Kaliyoga where you do yoga (no shit!) and juice detox type thing with lots of yummy therapies on top and stay in a tipee too! Aim being to embrace massively healthy diet, you know, probably vegan, no processed foods, juices, no caffeine, no alcohol, bugger I might as well be dead oh oops I'm going to be! The aim of this lifestyle overhaul is not  an attempt to cure me but to be in optimum health (silly cancer aside) again in a holistic sense so that I can fight as long as possible and feel good as long as possible. Also the retreat will give my yoga and meditation a boost and with willpower I will practice consistently on my return. If in the process of this I extend my life then hurrah but mostly I am looking for peace, clarity etc.
• Attend a 2 day course at Gaia House which is a Buddhist Centre nearby, the course is called living with illness, looks good:

"Facing illness and loss in our lives can bring us to a moment when we need to slow down and look deeply into our lives, a time to find acceptance of a diagnosis or the death of a loved one, to review our healing and coping strategies, and make peace with our mortality.  The practice of insight (vipassana) meditation will be used as the basis of exploring this relationship to pain and illness.

The retreat provides an opportunity to explore where we are in each moment of our lives, to listen to ourselves and each other from a heart that accepts both ourselves and others without judgement.  Developing greater mindfulness in times of transition, challenge and confusion can enable us to find new ways of relating to our daily lives.  The retreat includes guided meditation/reflection, group/council process and contemplative writing. "

• Definitely start training for the Powderham castle 10km in September, anyone wanting to join me let me know!!
• Book a holiday in the sun with my boys
• Do a one day Gersen Therapy course which will compliment the juicing stuff

So, yeah a lot to do and get organised. Will be telling the Docs this week that I don't wish to have any more chemo, I will discuss the antibody treatment (is palliative option) but i doubt I will go there. People are being so amazingly supportive and I am receiving some wonderful acts of kindness. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!

Feeling ok, up and down, mostly accepting and then occasionally hugely sorry for my self. But I am 'happy' with my decision. Right, off to watch the final of the apprentice, happy days!!

xx