To whine or wine??

Time for a whine! That's whine not wine, although maybe wine would help??

I feel properly pants (ie just yuk, out of sorts etc etc)

I think I have misplaced (not lost) my mojo, please if you see it can you return it to me asap! 

It started yesterday, yeah I know - it's clearly a chronic condition. I felt all tired and disgruntled. My only commitment all day was to meet my dad to play badminton, even then I was ten minutes late and forgot my trainers, so was left with choice of play in ugg boots or bare feet? opted for bare feet, played like a ninja but now have big blister on my foot.

Oh and, and!! My hair is falling out, flipping arse biscuits! Fortunately the growth I have had since my last baldy time means I have a fuller head of hair than ever, but still!

Went out for a couple of hours last night to catch up with some friends I hadn't seen for years which was really nice and I did not whine. Came home early enough to cleverly avoid the delicious cocktails that were flowing (check me out behaving like actual sensible grown up for the second time in a week! Oh blimey I must be unwell!). Got home, managed to whine a bit at husband who then gave me a beautiful anniversary gift, a lush silver and rainbow bracelet :) I then gave him his, which keeping with tradition was made of steel, 11 years of marriage, and it was a lovely collander (which we also happened to need for all the rinsing of fruit and veg for juicing) and there ensued a long 'discussion' where he helpfully 'suggested' all the things steel related I could have got him that were not house hold objects, how ungreatful I whined, and went to bed grumpy.

Anyway, woke up this am, happy anniversary us :) Still feel quite rubbish but have realised that most of it actually physical which is causing a side effect of general patheticness (is that a word?) and lameness.

Come on though! - I have breezed through nine cycles of Brentuximab and have actually found that after the first few things got easier. However the last month or so I have had irritating general aches and pains, tiredness, now hair loss and I think compromised cognitive function (I am finding it nigh on impossible to make any decision recently). I feel like I am made of lead physically and my brain is of a similar consistency.......blurgghhh! Oh and, this is probably too much information but my menstrual cycle is all over the shop, I am probably menopausal, hurrah.

So, that's me, nothing inspirational happening round here today! Well I better be off and MTFU!

I'll write more when I cheer up

xx