Hmmmmmmmm

Ok, well basically all good! Just returned from Corfu which was bags of fun :) Also ace to be home to my cosy bedroom, ace flat and crazy puppy!! 
Have had an appointment for scan 2nd November (lets all visualize together...."this is most unusual...but the tumour appears to have, well, shrunk.................we need to do more tests..." what do you think??? But you know it's ok I am prepared for the more 'realistic' conversation; whatever , it is at is is! 
My current, small, sadness, is that I don't see how the story ends.......... I mean for y'all it's easy, slightly  tragic, yet bitter sweet etc but for me..........what will my son's life turn out like, will my bros get married? will my parents be ok? how will hubby be? what about my mates and their families how will they expand and proceed?? I want to see it all, and I know I won't....that's a bit sucky. Having time away with my mates and their baby was so nice and I love this child and I feel a bond with her and I am sad that I won't see her grow and have siblings and I want to be in her life and yet I know she won't even remember me....bugga, even my dog will out live me!! 
Well anyway, despite this mini rant I am actually really happy! I am really quite relieved to have these thoughts to prove to myself that I am not in denial about what's happening, if that makes sense!
Peace out!!!
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PS X Factor is proper pants this week!!